I’m scared. Usually I’m scared for other reasons. Waiting for a guy to not be able to handle things is usually my fear. For them to get scared when things get real.
And I think I’m scared of things being normal because I have never had that. I have never had a normal relationship.
I've learned that when I feel fear in a situation, it's time to stop a minute and analyze the source of the fear. Is it old fear, from previous trauma? What about the current situation is the trigger? It is then time to focus on the trigger and bring forward whatever is ready to be offered up for healing.
If there's something about the current situation that the's source of the fear, that's a different story entirely. You'll know the difference between the two if you take some quiet time to reflect.
The point of fear is to lead to healing of past trauma or protection so we don't get traumatized in the present. Does this resonate with you?
Fear of the unknown is real. You've never had a normal relationship. Ok, well, everything usually seems great in the beginning. It takes time to really get to know someone, quirks, flaws, etc. What I'm hearing is you're out of your comfort zone and it's uncomfortable. You don't know what to expect and you don't like that feeling..
Guess what G - this is where you break the pattern.It doesn't mean this is your forever guy. His purpose in your life could be just that, to help you break a pattern that's been holding you back. Or, he could very well be the forever guy - too soon to tell. What we do know is that he's the today guy. Live in today. Trust that all the work you've done has brought you to this place and this moment with this person for a reason. Face your fears and live. You can do this! xoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
