Cardinal - I do see a difference in how I’m able to control my reactions. I was def a wet noodle with sauce between my ears when BD occurred and for several months after BD, mainly consumed by fear and confusion. But even just this week I see how my reactions and feelings have become more stable and I’m not a scared little mess anymore.
Thx DnJ for your kind words of encouragement...it really helps esp since I’m very hard on myself. It’s nice to hear that Based on my writings you feel that I’m doing well.
Update: H has been away for the week again on work assignment. Prior to him leaving he had moved deeper into his basement cave and ceased all communication and 100% avoids me. He did however manage to ask if I have a lawyer right before he left. (I have one more consult then I’ll choose one) which I told him I will have to him by the end of next week. He asked me a couple of weeks ago to do the $disclosure. I have started but I’m also doing it properly so it’s taking me awhile to complete. (His is a mess and very incomplete) Keep In mind he has never wavered and wants everything done yesterday so he can get the money out of the house to leave (so he says). H works a very good job and could leave whenever he wants. Anyway, I had to ask for some cc statements and H refuses to give them to me. Says the card is not joint (which it is) therefore I don’t need to see it. WELL this started the ball rolling ... angry messages asking if I “hacked” into OUR account... I zinged him with a truth dart and said “why would it be hacking if it’s my account too?” A day and a half later he responds with a message saying I asked you to get a lawyer months ago if you don’t want to go to court get one soon. Meanwhile he’s left his entire business off disclosure and has moved around $$$ and spent like crazy. H seriously doesn’t realize that HE will Be the reason this goes to court.
Could the anger I’m seeing be from me “being ok” with starting the process? Or me GAL? I’m hardly home and come home late from visiting friends or playing my sports. Maybe he does care? But don’t worry ZERO expectations!!!
Lastly, I’m going away for a few days and struggled with what to do a few posts ago in regards to telling him. I had planned on casually saying face to face “I’m out of town for a few days” but I won’t see him before I go cause he didn’t come home. Im sorry to be overthinking this ....but do I go out of my way to send a text to let him know I’m gone for a few days ? I’m struggling because I don’t want to disclose where I’m going ( I want him to wonder a little) but I also don’t want to lie or give him a reason to lash out at me. I feel a little stuck.
