You are putting way too much into what he says. Remember, believe NOTHING he says. Nothing. For all you know he was in bed with someone else last night. All of his "complaints" could must be an excuse to be with an OW. Please do not think I am saying that is the case, but at this point, who really knows??
You worry about the separation, the distance, the lack of contact. Except....that is exactly what your sitch needs right now. Whether you know it or not. Whether he says it or not. If you stopped calling and texting him right now, he'd wonder why. It would get his curiosity going. "Is she moving on? Has she met someone?" Etc. Curiosity on his part is your friend! When your H BD'd you and left, he expected you to react....EXACTLY THE WAY YOU HAVE. Imagine the impact it would have on him to wonder a little bit "why is she not crying and sad? Why is she not contacting me non-stop? Why is she not begging and pleading with me to return and try again?"
In my sitch one of the biggest impacts on my W was when I started to DB really well. And she started to get curious about what was going on. At first, she pretended not to care. At first she pretended that it was none of her business. But as I GAL. As I 180'd on my bad behavior. As I detached. She started to wonder what was going on. "Why is he embracing this plan of mine to get a job, get an apartment, and get a divorce?" "Why is he so busy, and not home?" "Why is he not starting discussions about the R?" "Why is he not begging and pleading with me to change my mind?" "Why is suggesting we should sit down and talk to our D about what is going on?"
That curiosity turned into interest. Interest turned into caring. Caring turned into feelings. Feelings turned into desire. We had had a SSM for years. And suddenly she couldn't keep her hands off of me!
Flip the script. Make him curious. Heck, even frighten him a little. Can it really make things worse?
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
