H came home and stayed around to talk. Lots of confusion. Anger. Threats. Flip flopping of emotions. Rewriting history.
So I’ve been thinking about this a lot today. This sounds so much like the fights I had with my D’s father. He’d argue in circles about nothing. Accuse me of things. Especially anything that was an insecurity. He accused me of cheating so often I finally did it. He’d mush incidents together or things different people said or did into one thing to make one person look terrible and like he was a victim. Furious over things that really didn’t matter or never happened or my favorite hypotheticals. He’d swing from rage to tearful.
I think you not engaging was the best thing you could’ve possibly done. They wear themselves out like toddlers eventually. You learned a lot more quickly than I did. Honestly if he gets drunk now and texts me or calls I have talk myself into being a grown up. I know lots of people have been encouraging it but if you haven’t done the al-anon thing yet you should or alternatively find an AODA counselor that works with loved ones of addicts. I’m going to hope he was sober but his behavior sounds a lot more like my ex not sober. Granted deep into the addiction sober or not he was like this.
I’m thinking about you. And your grace under fire.
