Divorce because I betrayed her trust - PART 7

[DaB35]

Thanks DS.

I'm keeping the PMA best I can. I've replied more decisively, like "I'll take [xyz], unless you were thinking of taking [y]."

Yes I wondered that. She can be quite scatty. This is something her other friends (who are by comparison quite dull people) would tease her about. W would then moan to me saying, "I'm always the butt of the joke to them!".
I won't dwell on it, but I was frustrated that she has left partly filled boxes all over the house and given me unnecessary work to manoeuvre around them/move them before I can do anything. Minor in the scheme of things, but still annoying!

She's texted me this morning to say -

"Hiya, was thinking about the garden stuff. Do you and your parents want to take them all including the mower? I just don't think I'll need them, probably gonna be in a flat so won't have a garden, your parents are welcome to it if they want it."

The breezy 'hiya' confused me a little. This happens once every 5-6 texts. Probably nothing in it, but it's a little jarring when I read it. I won't reply, as I've just modified my email to her and added, "Got your text about the garden. [My thoughts]."

I have no intention of stopping DBing. There are times when I think I might lapse into NGS traits but I'm becoming strong enough to resist that more frequently, so those danger periods are becoming fewer and far between. Certainly the whole addiction thing is long, long gone (thanks to excellent IC).

I know there will come a time when she will see the new me. I don't know when that is. It will happen though, whenever that time comes. She will certainly hear about the progress I've made from mutual friends etc. I don't mind them telling W what I've been up to or how I'm doing.

I will still be the lighthouse. I do worry sometimes that in my remaining the lighthouse, she is thinking in the background, "OK he is clearly moving on, he doesn't care about me or us, he's not fighting for M anymore, so I know I'm doing the right thing by D-ing him. Good riddance." I don't know. Of course I can't mind read but it does pop through my head sometimes.

But, I will still be the lighthouse.