Typing this from bunk #2 at the station on my phone, so please forgive the punctuation errors:

I appreciate all the feedback. I picked up my kids last night and they ate dinner with me at the station. Here’s some more thoughts:

* She is apparently on numerous online dating sites. I’m hearing it from a few single friends. I’m trying to be detached but it does rub me the wrong way. It kind of makes me feel like she’s done, so why try?
* She did mention she’s dating a lot and that “a lot of men lie about their actual height”. She said this on the way to our cars and I just kind of smirked and said “yeah, I don’t know”
* She’s moving 15 minutes away rather then 4 minutes away. I’m seriously just going to miss being in proximity to my kids.
* Ahe mentioned during mediation she is mad that I had another woman over. I am thinking - this happened months after she stated she was done and wanted a divorce.
* I have a strengthening feeling to ask her to reconsider not moving. I hinted around to this during reconciliation and she just shook her head and said she had to move because her current residence is being sold
* As much as she hates leaving our old neighborhood and moving, I tried saying how I felt stuck in the old marital house full of memories. Maybe I should feel grateful I have a house to live in. It’s going to hurt driving down our street after she moves away. Maybe she will actually will miss me more when she moves.
^ I have urges to invite her out to somehow listen to her feelings so I can understand what’s going on inside her head. I realize she probably doesn’t know. I miss the old version of her and watching her cry in that mediation hearing was hard.

* I anticipate no issues focusing hard on the kids
* Dating/OLD - guys, avoiding this is going to be tough to impossible. I’m just going to throw out my thoughts on this...I struggle with this new person my WAS has become.. I like honing my skills in talking to women; the validation boost is addictive. The sex is awesome. I feel like she no longer lives across the street so who cares what car is in my driveway when she moves and the kids are not with me. I do have this spirit of getting even, as I know she’s online dating.

I wonder when exactly I know I’ll be ready to date. Sometimes I feel strong and wanting to move on.

I do attend a divorce support group I found on meetup and they too suggest not dating during separation! They say if you do (and the vast majority does), go slow and make sure that both people know it’s light (going out for fun and it not becoming serious).