This is the most complex human behavior topic I have ever witnessed. Although I have moved on with my life, sometimes I can't stop my mind from thinking about it again.
I think what is missing in my sitch and in many others I guess is closure. I don't know if this exercise served anything in particular.
I agree. It still amazes me to think that everything pretty much happens internally in our heads (for both the WAS and the LBS). Sometimes outside forces do play a role, but mostly it’s in your brain...a split second thought, a half-way-there feeling, bundled with chemical changes or just pure fate, to produce some kind of action that will change everything.
I hope you find the closure you’re looking for. What if you can never find closure? Do you think it’s required to move on 100%? I don’t think there’s an answer for everything. And maybe sometimes one has to accept the absence of closure to find closure. I don’t even know if that makes sense, ha!
Originally Posted by kiro
I should have realized that MR comes with a risk. It's common knowledge that 50% of MRs end in D. I felt that we were safe, that these statistics didn't apply to us. I took what we had for granted.
This is how I felt too immediately after BD. I took things for granted. I thought we were safe. Although I also wasn’t happy but I didn’t sense the danger. M or any kind of relationship really takes hard work. It is easy to fall into this complacency and just think that you can cruise through life.
Originally Posted by kiro
So even if she were to come back and want MR2.0, why would I embark on such a complicated adventure?
I totally understand how you feel. I think about this too. Is it easier or harder to be with someone whom you’ve already been through so much with together? Should we choose base on the difficulty? I’ve told my H this too- I love you, but it is so hard to love you. The easy way for me right now would definitely be to end my M. Maybe there is no right or wrong. Whatever happens, most of the time you would have already been put in a position towards a choice before you have to actively pick A or B. Maybe like you, you’re already seeing someone now....when the time comes where your XW wants to recon, you wouldn’t even need to consider it because you’re already so invested in this other person.
LH & neffer- I def also agree with the selfishness and the weakness of the WAS. And those are hard to change. I can’t imagine for those who have made it to piecing, how those two traits of the WAS affect the piecing process.
