what should a stander do, exactly?

[DnJ]

Hello G

There really are better days ahead. It’s hard to see them when your walking that twisting turning path for the first time. Have faith in those that have gone before - you are doing well and making progress. Believe that.

I am very addicted to my wife. we met when we were 15. we have been side by side since 1987. we are best friends, did everything together. now, to be alone, and when I do see her, its all negative vile spew. it seems for me, like I am sure all of you feel, it is a two-fold issue. one the love of my life has went off the rails and has no idea, and I cant do anything to help her. two, I lost the love of my life, and my best friend, and right now, there is nothing I can do about it.

I was happy to see this.

This is a nice logical reasoned viewpoint. It has understanding and compassion; fore markers of detachment; and still shows empathy. Well done.

I want to encourage you a bit.

...there is nothing I can do about it.

True, on the surface.

So what can you do something about? What can you control?

DnJ