Doing my thing and hope for the best

[may22]

OK, ladies. I get the difficulty in separating out the clothes, that is a PITA. And WF, you win with the fabric softener. But. Wooba. I would put it in a big wrinkled clean pile (or laundry basket) and let him fold it his own GD self. It might not bother you to do it but what is it saying to him?

Wooba, I totally know what you're saying about the work ranting. My H is the same way and has been for a looooong time. I will say that in the past, I did say all those little things you are keeping to yourself, and it didn't always go over very well Now I am better at just validating and saving my commentary or advice for when he asks for that. And the truth is I'm actually interested in what is happening with his work these days and he does ask for and take my advice which is of course gratifying and makes me want to listen more.

Here are my thoughts on the work ranting sitch. If you feel resentful when you make yourself available to listen... then don't do it. So what if he has no-one else to talk to? He made that bed himself. You get to choose how you want to engage with him and if this is something that isn't serving you then maybe don't do it.

You don't have to be a B about it. You could listen and validate amazingly with eye contact and nodding for the beginning of the rant and then beg off... OMG I am so sorry I really want to hear this but I forgot I need to do Y. Can we pick this up later? And then don't. Or you could just be honest and say, I'm uncomfortable having these conversations with you right now, I'm really sorry. Keeping the focus on you and how you're feeling about it, not UGH I simply can't listen to another sob story from you, it is always the same... whatever is in your mind at the moment-- just say this is hard for me and I really am not up for it right now. Is that ok?