Sorry you are here. My W BD was about 3 weeks ago and I am an absolute mess.
I am interested how you have split the living arrangements?
Also have you told the kids? What did you tell them?
Also are you doing stuff with the kids together? How does that work for you?
Lots of questions but I am in a simular sitch
Hey Bud,
If you read my initial post, you might get a little more info. Splitting the residence 50/50 on a schedule where kids live. Don't ever just move out.
Outside, we live with friends/family.
We told kids because we had to of course. Very tough and they are doing ok, but it affects them sure.
We coordinate and communicate frequently with household, kids, school, etc. Many kids events we do and they always go well. Most of these are required or holiday.
Relationship wise...in limbo.
Working on myself after getting past all the initial shock and depression. The body and mind can only take so much. It has taken a toll on me, but coming around. Working out, activity, friends, family, work, all help.
Things will slow down and get better, but you have to back off. Just don't make any big mistakes that could hurt you legally later on while your brain is being fried during BD. If unsure, consult with a professional. If things come to that.
Mind is spinning here from V-day just need some clarity please.
Things with the W have been going pretty well and I have been getting good with GAL about 6 months since BD. Communication has been good and we both reach out as needed. Really just starting to see my worth. Limbo, but a good calm limbo if that makes sense. Reaching some degree of detachment, but as you will see here this one caught me a little.
I have only reached out for a couple brunch meetups with W saying a I can't because of X, but in these cases it was probably true. I just decided to quit asking until I saw more signs. I have been hesitant. I have seen dates as out of the question up to this point.
Recently, the W asked if I wanted to go on a dinner date this month. I said yes.
I visited the home to give kids their V-day presents and W was agitated. I didn't go off the handle, but probably not the best DB, but hey its real life. I fed into it and she accused me of talking to someone and seemed to be irritated I hadn't asked her out. I wear my ring and my stance hasn't changed. I saw V-day as a big no-no for our first date and pursuit. If anything I was talking to guy friends and I told her that. Accused me of not telling her everything I do, etc., but we are separated. Apparantly, W has been seeing little things I have done and assuming I am talking to someone.
Anyways...crazy, but we are still going on dinner date this month I guess.
So in comes my mind #$&*&$# thinking I should have done something different, chase W, etc.
I guess sometimes drama is good, things were getting stagnant.
Personally, my advice would be to cancel. "Sorry something came up and I can't make it."
Remember, people want what they can't have. She will wonder why you prioritized something else. "Is he moving on? Am I ready for him to leave me behind?" Those kinds of thoughts can stir up of feelings of "Oh no he dint! HE AIN'T GETTING AWAY THAT EASILY!"
Read the distance-pursuit thread.
If you do end up going, my guess is that she is seeing this as two friends having dinner. Not sure about you, but I wasn't interested in friendship with my WAW.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
