Wooba, OK! You do you! As long as you are cool with it and aren't doing it out of a desire to keep connected or show your value or whatever. Do you fold it too??? And that time really, truly couldn't be better spent watching a Grey's Anatomy rerun eating chips and guacamole? On the not listening to the work rant stuff, that is harder. Does it make you feel badly when you have to listen to it? Can you identify what about that makes you feel powerless and act on those smaller things without stopping listening to him entirely?
Moving this here so I don’t hijack someone else’s thread.
I do fold it! I sometimes put it away or I just leave on his side of the bed. Oh yes I do put on Netflix while folding laundry...last night I watched a bit of the Irishman. That would be a lot of laundry folding because the movie is 3+ hrs long lol.
The work ranting doesn’t make me feel bad. It’s more like...oh here we go again. Before I would secretly blame him for not being able to change his attitude about his job. Ex it doesn’t have to be that bad if you don’t look at it that way. Why can’t you get past the little things. (I understand I cannot change how he feels about his job, so I never tell him these things) But I have told him that we will be fine if he wants to do something else that doesn’t make as much, as long as he’s not miserable. We will be fine, we don’t need that much to live a decent life. But he is prideful and doesn’t want to settle for less. Listening to him doesn’t make me feel powerless, I guess I just question whether I want to be his emotional dump. On one hand I feel for him, I might be the only person he could really talk to about all his work stuff, but I really don’t see myself as his wife anymore. I don’t know how to say it....maybe the best way to describe is that our partnership has ended. Before when we were partners, I listened and validated and would give him my opinion on his work and he valued that. But now I’m just a listener. Sometimes I validate. But mostly I just want him to go away if he’s going to insert negative energy into my life. So that’s what I struggle with, being there for him but with a slight resentment questioning why I’m doing it when he’s clearly not there for me in any way.
