Life goes on

[kiro]

Continued...

And before I know it, I already have 1 foot out the door.

Deep inside, I know what I did. I know I was unfair and that I made up stories. I know that my MR wasn't that bad. I know W isn't bad.

But I also know that I cannot take back everything I said. In other words, I already ruined it. There is no way she would forgive me.

I have doubts. I am not sure if I'd truly be happier when I leave, but after everything that I'd said and done, it would be dumb not to try. W seems desperate anyway. If I change my mind down the road, she'd take me back in a beat.


I'm excited about my new life and this gives me a new energy. Friends and colleagues see the change in me. They compliment me and encourage me. This gives me confidence that I'm doing the right thing. Maybe, some other women even flirt with me. It feels good and exciting...

It's an adrenaline rush... I can't stop it...

Somehow, I have become selfish. I'm only thinking about myself, but I can't help it. And so what? I've given so much to others in the past. I've sacrificed myself so much. It's ok to live my life.

MR is over anyway. Thinking about it only causes pain to both of us. We might as well get a D and end it before it gets worse. I need to get her off my back...

It's a rollercoaster. Once I got on it, it's difficult to come off.

W keeps thinking so rationally. She keeps bringing up old memories from MR and talking about the kids. What's wrong with her? How has she become so dependent? Doesn't she have any imagination? Why can't she move on?

It's actually for her own good that I need to stay away and avoid any contact with her... But I'll help her if she needs because I am still a good person.