Originally Posted by job
Hence, I think you are over analyzing and focusing on the what if's. By doing so, are you walking on eggshells? If so, you need to step over those broken eggshells and reclaim YOU.

Thx Job. I am the queen of over analyzing and I hate suspense! Lmao! So you can well imagine that those are two strong focuses for me in learning how to just let things be and as you said unfold. The good thing is I feel like I have stopped walking on eggshells and really am focusing on reclaiming MY life...I play sports, go out with many different groups of friends and have picked back up all of my hobbies. I really find with me that the strong days are more numbered now than the weak ones, but when a weak days surface boy does it get a grip on me and I spiral...hence the above worrying, fear and over analyzing. Coming onto this board and venting or just writing what you feel at the time no matter how silly truly helps when people like yourself chime in with the reality checks and strong advice. So thank you so much.
Originally Posted by job
Keep the focus on you. Keep the focus on today and allow tomorrow to reveal itself when it is ready.

THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^. !!!!! Xoxoxo
Originally Posted by peacetoday

But we have no where to really go except forward facing the crises head on--healing
and letting the chips fall where they may

And having no regrets because we did our part

This is great peacetoday. For a very long time from BD until very recently I kept feeling like there was something I wasn’t doing, like I was missing some action that I needed to take care of, that if I didn’t act on something I was part of the problem or things were going to fall apart immediately. Most recently I began to realize that I was feeling that way because of how quick my H BD’d, moved out, moved back, moved into basement, got an agent to look at the house etc etc .... my head was spinning while I was quite honestly just trying to breath. I was also focusing on his crisis and what bomb was going to go off next.
As I learn to “face the crisis head on and do my best to let the chips fall where they may” I’m finding a new peace within myself. A HUGE part of that is no matter what way this goes I have KINDLY done my part and will have no regrets.
Thank you xo