I’m sorry you are going through this...no one deserves this inhumane treatment, but it’s real and it’s happening. Sadly we can’t wish it away. It took me close to 4 months to accept that. I am still horribly hard on myself especially when I have a bad day...but I am settling into a new space day by day sometimes hour by hour. I have taken so much advice from this forum and it really does help. That does not mean it is easy. It is not. The biggest take away I am working on right now is truly believing that this is not my fault and that I can not fix H. As others have said the pain, confusion, hurt, will start to let up...especially the more you GAL. I too have never become angry despite people around me wondering why and much to my own amazement even when H (shark eyes/ dead eyes) does/says something hurtful or with such disdain as you described. My profile name says it all...despite the hopelessness the sadness the confusion I said from the very being of BD (once I realized something very strange was happening) that I would always be kind. I’m treating my H as if he’s sick which I know MLC is not but it helps me remain as peaceful and kind as possible. I will not allow someone else to harden my heart. You got this....day by day sometimes minute by minute. People are here for you. Pls take care.
