Being strong and assertive as a woman has huge benefits, but it also has major down sides. We tend to overreach. Even emasculate. We also end up spreading ourselves really thin and putting our own well being on the back burner because we truly believe we are the only one who can do things right all the time so we just do it all, get frustrated and then take it out on our Hs because we feel like they aren't helping even though we won't let them. I think the goal here is to 180 the negative aspects of being a strong woman and pump up the positives. I think it's more than just a balance of vulnerability and strength it's a balance of strength and being hardened.
I definitely agree that I suffered from the downsides of being strong and assertive, particularly putting my own well being on the back burner because I have truly believed that I was the only one in the M who could do things the right way. What I have learned is that this was killing my mental health as well as my M. It is not too late for my mental health (I now gladly accept help) but may be too late for the M. What little H was willing to do, I always seemed to critique so he may not have felt comfortable doing things. I definitely am working on striking a balance between the good and bad characteristics you listed above as part of my 180ing.
Last edited by HesAble; 02/10/2007:49 PM.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
