[quote=HesAble] . . .I am scared that showing my H that I will be ok without him means he will be more comfortable in walking away. At the moment, one of the reasons he says he has been unable to leave is guilt (not just for me but also the kids). I know deep in my heart that I don’t want a H who is only here through guilt - and I have told him that guilt and fear and not valid reasons to stay. But I’m scared that if I show I am at peace with him leaving, he will leave.
Keep strong HesAble....you are doing really well!
Pommy99: I have the same fear about my H. I have been following DB, but have also been wondering if acting as if I am at peace with H leaving is going to backfire and make him feel less guilty walking away. I agree with you that guilt should not be a reason to stay, but I wish guilt could soften H's heart to the point that he is willing to give our M another try, even if it is just for the children's sake. I have seen little to no improvement in H's behavior in spite of my DB practices. Perhaps it just takes time or maybe things are working in a way I cannot yet see.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
