Midlife wife crisis13

[Wolfman]

Wolf,

You keep making this statement.

[she is the one who put us here.

You both are at fault. You didn't hold her accountable and accepted everything she wanted even if you know it wasn't something that you agreed with. That's appeasement and not love. You have to be accountable for your faults as well. You are holding on to this belief, that, "only if my W would of tried and gave us a chance we would be together". But you help to create an environment of entitlement that she has.

Accept you faults!!! She is entitled and has a lot of work to do, but so do you and finding blame in her won't help.
Joejoe

I know I created that environment. I thought I was being a good husband by trying to help her. I didn’t volunteer this help. She would ask for more help and I would help her. That’s all she would say is that she needs help and I would help. As a husband was I suppose to say no, I won’t help you? I also recognize my faults in the relationship, she wanted more emotionally. I just needed to listen more to her. I Leander her “love language” after the fact but I know now if things ever changed. Maybe if I had given her more emotionally she wouldn’t have needed so much help around the house. I don’t know.
The thing I find funny is that she always needed me to help her. How she would tell me she is “drowning” with the kids and house work. And I was doing the food shopping, house cleaning, landscaping, bills, trash, cleaning up after dinner, helping the kids, and now she has to do all that by herself. I have read so much on here they are acting on emotion that is so true with my ex. I just wish she would have thought logically about how our marriage was. We had so much fun as a family and were very loving most of the time. Was there things I did wrong and needed to do better. Absolutely!! I don’t think it warranted divorce but that is me thinking logically and not emotionally like her.
Joejoe I know my faults and am working on them. She definitely has a lot of work since she has headed into MLC. I hope one day she “wakes” up, I just hope it’s not too late and I no longer want her.