Spent most of Saturday watching basketball. Got a great visit in with Buddy and ended up going to his parents’ later on for dinner. Hadn’t seen them since I was a teenager. His mom was just like I remembered her... trying to feed us the second we walked in the door...lol. It was like going back in time.
Briefly saw Brook at the tournament. He was pretty busy with his team. Didn’t see him when I left but we exchanged some texts later. He definitely seemed off and I heard a few comments from mutual acquaintances that they noticed he was off too. He told me he was down because his team’s season had ended and he’d been coaching a lot of those girls since they were in the sixth grade. He was also sick and feeling run down. I think he is also still struggling with his reaction to his XW’s possible affair with his friend too. Sigh... it seems the timing is off between him and I. Good thing I have lots going on to keep me busy. Who knows? Maybe in a month or two we can have that date...lol. At this point I’m not holding my breath though. Don’t want to set myself up for disappointment.
I also ran into my old basketball coach and had a nice talk with him. Here’s a story of reconnection... he and his wife were married for 36 years...then they got divorced. Five years later, they got back together and they’ve been that way for the last two and a half years. Poor woman. She had five years of peace...lol. Anyway...just goes to show you that life is unpredictable and some people do get back together after a divorce. You just never know what the future has in store.
Texted with Jack a bit last night and this morning as well I know...bad idea. He seems to be all over the map... from “I know this is for the best and I’ve known all along I couldn’t be with someone your age who has kids” to “I resent that you gave up on me” to “I love you so much” to “I would do anything to make you happy” to “I know I have the potential to do so much better” to “I crave your attention” to “I just want to give you a hug”, etc... Thankfully, at the end of it he seemed a lot better. Said he admired my patience with the “stupid” things he said and that he was just having a bad moment. Said he would definitely like to be friends some day.
Fun day today. Got a few hours of pool practice in with my sister and then went to Star Wars with her and my BIL. Got home and watched a friend play in a tournament final on livestream. Pretty nice day. Tomorrow is a day off but it’s filled with kids’ appointments and things on my ToDo list. Gotta get studying for my interview too. Ugh. Really hate interviews.
I'm sorry the timing seems off with Brook, but glad you had a good weekend, in spite of that. Good luck as you prepare for this interview. I'm sure you're going to nail it! xoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Staying friends with an ex is a nice theory but I do wonder how it plays out in real life. Jealousy can be a thing. I know that I've seen that with my own GF who is visibly bothered any time that on of the others I've dated / been involved with cross her radar.
If you can do it with Jack that's all well and good as long as it's not some sort of hook to something deeper for either of you.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Thanks Andrew. I have a history of being friends with exes. The only one I’m not friends with is my XH and that is because of how disrespectfully he ended our marriage. If you give each other enough space and time to move on and you treat each other with respect, it’s actually not that hard. Jack is struggling because the rest of his life is so challenging right now. He knows, and said so, that he couldn’t be with someone my age who has kids long term. Sooner or later, those two things will start to matter more. However, he probably would have wanted to stay with me longer than what I wanted. He says he loves me a lot in spite of our incompatibilities so he is feeling the loss. But he will get past those feelings and once he does, I think we have a really good chance of being friends. Time will tell I guess.
Staying friends with an ex is a nice theory but I do wonder how it plays out in real life. Jealousy can be a thing. I know that I've seen that with my own GF who is visibly bothered any time that on of the others I've dated / been involved with cross her radar.
I've almost always stayed friends with my exes - (except my ex-husband, no thank you). It hasn't been an issue except for my current boyfriend - CMM has a HUGE jealous streak. Like, my high school boyfriend turned Catholic priest who said the services for my mom - CMM had a huge problem with that. Really, if he didn't have terminal cancer, it probably would be a dealbreaker for me.
I don't flirt, most of these men don't have designs on me (certainly not the Catholic priest!) - we just maintained a friendship after we parted, usually very casual (like my college boyfriend who I see for lunch about once every 5 years). I think if you are confident in yourself and your partner's behavior doesn't give you any reason to be suspicious it shouldn't be an issue.
Glad you had a good weekend. I'm kind of on the fence about the friends with the X thing. For me, it depends on the situation and the X in question. My XH made a huge deal out of still wanting to be friends, even citing my own parents as a prime example of people who know how to do it right (my parents have been divorced for over 20 years; my dad has had a "wife" for over 10 now and my mom has remained single, but they still are close and we still do all of our family holidays and celebrations together as one big family and we include my dad's partner, when she wants to come). Yeah, no thanks, douchebag! But I have some other exes that I have maintained a great friendship with. Like I said, for me, just depends on the particular person.
As far as your conversations with Jack, the thing that sticks out to me is that most of the conversations, at least from my interpretation, seem to be him pretty much promising to do whatever he has to in order to get back with you. Obviously I'm not there so I only get your version of what is being said, but that is just the message I'm getting from what you are saying. I would be very wary of that. Sometimes I think cutting ties when you break up with someone is better and in my opinion, this looks like a case where it might be a better way to go. Just my opinion though. You have to do what is right for you and that may not be it.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
