what's your line? When will you stop being friends with him-- when he moves out? That's been my line too, and I know my H doesn't believe me that I'll really stop being his friend if he leaves. (Maybe he does a little, but that is what he is saying to me.)
Do you still feel like he's a little off-- a photocopy of a photocopy?
I feel that the nice H is harder than the d*ck H was, for sure, for all the reasons you say above. I've been doing it for awhile now. It s*cks. It is easier to have the anger to hold onto and the a**hole behaviors to remind yourself that you are better off without him anyway.
All I can say is... stay strong. As you've said to me, you'll know when enough is enough and you're ready to take that next (maybe necessary) step of him walking. And remember he is likely really confused too, his leaning into the family could be relief that you seem cool with the current situation *or* could be because he is truly missing the family and wants to spend time together. All a big mind f**k and not really worth going down the rabbit hole.
What can you do for YOU during this time?
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
