Stranger In My House Part 3

[HesAble]

It is the weekend and, as usual, H has been spending the night elsewhere. He never tells me where he is going and I do not ask. Should I be asking? I was assuming that, in order to detach, I should not be asking questions about his nights out but perhaps I am wrong. One friend says that my not asking may send a signal to H that I really do not care where he is which will, in his eyes, confirm what he thought about me not caring enough about him during most of the M (his rewriting history).

I am not looking forward to the whole V Day week, but I am realizing it is only one commercialized day. I am going forward with my plan to buy myself flowers and spoil myself. It is so sad that it has come to this but it is what it is and I am so grateful that I have the means to spoil myself. Thanks to all of you for encouraging me to do that.

I did not get around to having my at home spa evening this weekend (it is not too late since I still have today), but I did get out and have some fun with the kids. I am so grateful for being given the gift of time to bond with my children. We don't get this precious time back and, while H runs around with his secret friends (or OW), he is missing out on key bonding time with his children. Perhaps some men do not value this time as much as mothers do? Or is it just the MLC Monster type that doesn't value it? Whatever it is, it is sad to see a father not caring about missing out on time with his children (not that he spent much time with them before BD and when things were "normal" because he was gone a lot then too. In fact, a red flag was the many times I asked him to do fun weekend things with the kids and he responded that it all sounded boring. He never enjoyed family outings and I even had to encourage him to spend more time with his own parents during the holidays, etc.).

Oh well, I have found hope in my spiritual faith. Whatever the outcome of this M, my children and I will be fine. Life will go on. This too shall pass. Trouble does not last forever.