Divorce because I betrayed her trust - PART 7

[DaB35]

Got back from the house with my sister. We took a few more items of mine away.

It was the first time I'd been there since mid-December. My parents' and sister's Xmas cards were still on the dining table when we got in.

W has started to pack up her stuff - her desk and bookcase are dismantled; clothes all in suitcases, she's taken all the pictures down off the walls, rolled up the rug, started boxing up/bubble-wrapping crockery. I also noticed that she had put all the cards she gave me (Valentines/Birthday etc) in a pile on the desk in my study. She has kept all the cards I gave her in her room however. I was expecting her to have thrown them away.

I felt sad. It was a real physical representation of the fact that she is a WAW, D is almost done, and has fired me as H.

I got the stuff I needed and sister helped me look for paperwork to do with the sale. She said "Why is she giving this all up? Such a waste." On the way there she told me about how her friends have had problems with their Hs. One had a gambling problem and remortgaged their house, another was swindled out of their share in a company and lost money but hid that from his W out of shame, another has a lazy H who won't do anything with their 2nd child, etc. She said "They've said what you did is so tame in comparison to all that. Doesn't she realise that people go through lots together, it's not 100% perfect all the time, and that you need to take a step back at the bigger picture, then you work at it. And, all of those couples are stronger now because they talk more."


I will book a day off work this week and go up again with my family to box up my things (paperwork mainly, but also dismantle the wardrobe I'm taking, take shelves down and touch up the paint on the wall when they're down etc.).

Advice needed:

I need to arrange with W to go through final items. Was thinking of emailing this:
"Hi W. Just thinking that we need to finalise the sharing of the smaller items that aren't on the asset list. I'm thinking of the bedding and towels, stuff in the shed, kitchen items, and the *soft toys. I was thinking of Sunday (16th) if that works for you."

Is that OK?

*W and I had a collection of Jellycat toys, I'd say around 20. They were a lovely part of our R and M. I would sometimes buy one as a Valentine's gift or if she was feeling glum about something. I was good at 'animating them' by moving their arms/heads, and she'd always laugh without fail. She even gave them all personalities and backstories! When we were messing about with them and making each other laugh, it was one of the times when I forgot about all my issues and problems, and was just 'present'. Things like that I really miss. They are all currently stuffed into the top of a wardrobe in the bedroom. They haven't been moved since around September I think. They brought so much joy to us. I know they're just toys but it meant something to us. Every couple has their own little quirks and silly things they do, and that was one of ours.


So, let's say she agrees and we meet in a week's time. I'm thinking - go there looking good and confident (which is becoming more natural for me now), haircut, cologne, very presentable.
How do I act - bright and breezy? Quietly confident and calm? Pleasant and non-emotional?