FS: it seems like the stuff about the woman at school really triggered you, that's very understandable! It's surprising the amount you can still suffer even after standing all this time. But I feel like you're bouncing back. Your H's behaviour is perplexing, the way it can be interpreted as wanting D and R at the same time. He's certainly not willing to let go right now is he? You talk about moving on as if it has to involve another R: does it? I know how lonely it is to stand, and how hard it will be to trust people in the future. You dated before and realised you weren't ready, you still aren't. I feel like you need to heal a bit more before you're ready for a new R, maybe that is why you have no attraction to other men right now. I have no advice, just empathy for you with H clinging on as mine is. Maybe at some stage we will shake them free when we're ready. Thinking about time is not that helpful here, I know you need to resolve the house stuff but you can do that and stay in limbo a little longer. The gift of time, remember. We get impatient, but it takes time to heal and it takes time to unravel a M properly and forgive. And it's not a linear process. I was talking to a bloke the other day and he told me about his sister, she lives with her current H and her ex-H. I could kind of understand how such a strange situation could come about! The bond you have with your spouse is so strong I'm not sure you can ever break it. Make the best house situation you can whilst assuming nothing from your H. Keep on healing. Be patient. Life moves on by itself even when you are standing still.
