I can't remember-- do you have friends or family you've confided in? This might be a good time-- if you have someone who will listen and can support you where you are without judgment-- to get together and vent. There is something about being with another human being who loves you and cares about you and is there for you no matter what and will listen that is so, so valuable... I finally told one very close friend what was going on after I learned about the PA portion and calling her is like medicine when I'm spinning.
I know the why me feeling, and the WTF is he doing feeling. The resentment is real and totally understandable. But... it IS happening. He IS doing this. This, as much as I wish it weren't right now, IS my life. My only life. So I need to suck it up and figure out what I'm going to do because wishing it weren't won't get me too far. Your H is being a total d**k. Do not let him drag you down with him-- you simply can't give him that power.
I like your at home spa idea. I will do it next week when I have the house to myself!!
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
