One major issue we have is that we never had a separation agreement (she didn't want to sign one).
We have a second mediation session for child custody this coming week. We haven't seen eye-to-eye on this as I want 50/50 and she wants 100%. i want my kids badly but the courts system intimidates me and causes a ton of anxiety.
Steve, I read up on gaslighting and that's precisely what's been going on. Last January, I did find evidence of an affair (her textual description of the event to an ex-boyfriend) and she stated he wrote adult stories about infidelity and she was fictituously describing one involving her and an elisted man....and then a few months later, I discovered she'd been in contact with an a military base phone number for 8 months. As painful as it was to discover, I just wish she'd outright admit it instead of dragging this through the legal system.
I feel just really mixed up inside. I feel like I don't want to ever hear from her or see her again. At the same time, she is moving from my subdivision to one thats 5 mins away and it just reinforces she is gone....the kids will no longer be walking distance away. In that sense, I actally feel like I miss her.
I can't believe after 20 years of being together - this is how things will end. I have to keep telling myself - better days....better like you've never dreamed of....are ahead. I miss the way things were 5 years ago with my family (and Lord, those Facebook Memories pictures that keep popping up don't help me to keep those memories in the past).
