I think you just need to be OK with what you share before you make that choice. A lot of times I try to put myself in my future shoes and ask myself what is the worst that would happen if I did this, and how would future me feel about it? Would I regret it or not?
Maybe keep working on your letter so at least you have your thoughts down on paper whether you give it to him or not, or say it to him or not at some point in the future. I packed up his Christmas ornaments in a separate box after Christmas this year and put a note in there for him. It was a weird kind of closure/freeing moment because he's not going to see it for at least a year but I can't take it back either.
I think all of this is something in need to keep in my pocket as far as letting my walls down. I've been editing the letter a little every day. I'd like to get to where I'm not flat out saying you're depressed and in a crisis, get help, because moving out and OW will never fill all the holes the misery you're in has created. I won't wait forever for you to figure this out, and you're going to end up dying alone if you don't. I'm gonna hazard a guess he wouldn't be that receptive to that. I need to make it more about me and how I feel and what I think, without anger and saying things I know he has to figure out on his own.
Reading the Christmas thing broke my heart. It's so beautiful, and so sad at the same time. I could see how that would give you some closure.
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
When this happens, you speak your truth. You listen to understand. You show your hurt. You say what you want from them. You also have gauge how receptive the other person is. Are they listening? Can they handle this? Can I handle this? Is this working to help with my goal to save this? Can you listen to how the other person is feeling? Can you not argue?
I can only answer one question with certainty about that last mini R convo. And I'm pretty sure the answer is no I can't handle it. Lol. But these are things I'm going to have to keep in mind. I really appreciate the advice. And I'm gonna by a huge box of kleenex and suck it up and watch Marriage Story.
