Thanks BenB

[hoosjim]

I wasn't really clear on the MAN and WOMAN thing. I am fully aware of that there ARE differences and if I have learn anything on that regard, it is that i havn't made them clear enough in our R.
My point here was simply to make it clear for others on the forum that the fact that we are married doesn't really matter where we live. There is no real "belief" that will keep her in the marriage. In some cultures marriage it self has a lot more value (rather than just a fun party and some legal consequences).
So for me this means DB and getting Respect is even MORE important. With W or with any other woman.

Understood, thanks for clarifying. It's just that sometimes with a not insignificant number of folks it is not always clear... and that is the problem. Societal and sociological "norms" change... but we as human creatures do not. It creates conflicts with who we are and what are relationships are meant to be. It is not at all unusual these days for men/husbands to become "overly domesticated" (for lack of a better term)-- too caught up in caring for the children's every whim (and here's a big tip-- it's actually really good for kids to suffer some hardship and learn to figure things out on their own) and losing sight of attracting their "mate". Some of this is natural and has proven scientifically to be so (husbands and wives both become more "domestic" and nurturing/protective when children are born, it is hard wired into us), but society/media increasingly tells us to do/expect certain things, act certain ways, and distracts us with, well... distractions. It is disheartening that so much of media/society these days is focused on "doing what feels good" and pursuing "happiness for yourself" at all costs, and seems to accept if not outright encourage the free trading out of old relationships for new ones. (My best friends Ex-Wife-- my own wife's sometimes bff-- believes that marriages should be a 10 year contract that come up for reconsideration and renewal every 5 or 10 years-- yikes!) It is also unfortunate that so much of the man/woman dichotomy and gender/relationship roles has become so conflated with political positions and arguments that you almost can't have an intelligent/objective discussion about it anymore... but the differences, as I noted previously, are important, have NOTHING to do with equality/inequality/opportunity/oppression, but EVERYTHING to do with the strength and health of our marital relationships. I am gratified to be able to come to this forum and still discuss things in that light.

Anyway, Keep up the good work, and hang in there. Demand the best of yourself, and demand/expect/work-for the relationship you deserve (and not necessarily just the one "society" seems to indicate you "should" have.)