Midlife wife crisis13

[Wolfman]

You currently have a girlfriend, right? Do you hope to reconcile with your W some day? Are you emotionally attached to your XW, b/c you want a future with her? I mean, you are emotionally attached, even if it's negative emotions. There seems to be too much spoken between you and XW. Your parenting style and her parenting style is not going to match, so the more you can avoid that whole scenario where she tattles to you about the kids......the better. Don't try to rescue her from the kids, or other issues she has brought on herself. Are you still going inside to get the kids? Asking the kids questions about what happens after you leave, or any other time they are with their mom, is an invitation for anxiety. I think you need to be careful there. ((hugs))

I do have a GF that I care for a lot. I just miss the family dynamic. I feel I put so much effort to keep my w happy and do anything I could to help he out. Then to have the rug taken out from under me. I have come a long way but have a long way to go still. Sometimes I do hope that we can reconcile because of the home I worked so hard on, my children being with them. I know it may not seem that way but I have truly learned a lot from here and am a much better partner. But she has done no work so I can’t imagine what it would be like if it did happen.

I don’t go in the house anymore. I stopped about 2 months ago. I wait in the car to pick them up and drop them off in the driveway. I don’t ask my kids anymore what they do when they are not with me. Honestly, I got to a point where I thought we had the “perfect” family life. Both teachers, off all summer together, making 2 good salaries and I have another career too. A dream home that I completely renovated, 2 beautiful healthy kids, we were living the American dream. Or at least I thought we were. 2 things happened right before the split. Our good friend’s daughter drowned a month before we were going away with them on a cruise. When that happened I saw a change in her and even her parents. And she said to me life is short and you never know what’s going to happen tomorrow and that you need to live your life. That and her about to turn 40 and she was having a hard time with that. She said she felt old, out of shape, fat and in her words frumpy. And then she would say, “I wouldn’t wish this life on my worst enemy.” That statement goes to show her sense of entitlement. And in case you are wondering, we didn’t argue, very rarely, I was always around and we were always doing things together as a family. I was always telling her how much I loved her and how beautiful she was. I adored my w. But I guess I did t speak her love language because evidently she wasn’t feeling it.