Hi - sorry I'm not responding as much. Things have been utterly crazy in my life the last week. I can't even start to describe what it's been like.
Dilly - I don't like my H very much at the moment. He has lied and lied and covered things up and blamed all whilst maintaining the veil of 'good father doing what's right for the children'.
There was truth in the story with the woman from years ago. It doesn't matter to be honest. The truth lies somewhere between what he has admitted too (his version didn't add up and my over analytical brain picked up the gaps and called him on it, so he would amend his story) and her version, well her version is totally bonkers. The only thing that they do agree on is that she became obsessed and he had to block her on every front. The thing that gets me is this was over a year and a half ago and, if she did become a stalker, he kept that hidden from EVERYONE. I mean, his version includes drunk dialling the obsessed desperate woman at our daughters school, so even though he swears "I didn't do anything wrong" there has to be some guilt/shame in there. My H likes to project control and 'perfect home, perfect career, perfect father' so to keep a secret like drunk dialling a crazy woman then having said crazy woman message him constantly and turn up at his flat and still go to that school everyday and pretend nothings wrong. To receive crazy obsessive messages from her and then have lunch with me and the girls. D@mn, either he is a very good actor or a complete sociopath.
But what gets me. What makes me really mad is that he engaged at all, even if his "I got drunk sometimes and responded to her" version is the truth. When it came out, why pretend it was nothing and then now that people are making a big deal of it (me apparently), say "well, I was single, she was single so even if something happened, and it didn't, why should anyone care". I care because he hid it. Why keep lying to me - and the answer is, because he didn't want anyone to know, and more importantly he didn't want me to know. I remember what it was like back then. He was so suspicious of me (where are you off to tonight, you're never home anymore, you don't spend any time with the children, you're always doing yoga) and there he was messaging and drunk dialling the school secretary. Such a two faced hypocrite.
