I cheated, we survived, now my wife's cheating

[JC08]

I see what you are saying. I guess since I had the kids when the slips came home I felt I was responsible to let her know slips came home so she could either take those times or set up her own. Yes I see now that I could have emailed her copies of them or sent with kids, set up my own times, and let her do whatever she wanted with the schedules. I'm just guessing that she would have asked the same questions she did today, which would have required no response from me.

I don't feel like I did this out of a sense of control or passive aggressiveness but maybe I did without consciously thinking that was what I was doing.

I do not think that I was searching for a reason to reach out to her, she sends me many text messages about things that I don't see as necessary nor that need an answer and I do not respond. I usually have anxiety when I know I'm going to have to have interactions with her, so I steer clear as possible. The less interaction (text or personal) I have with her the better emotional stability I have, so I really don't think I'm searching for a way to reach out.

Guess that leaves me with either trying to have a sense of control or still feeling like I have certain responsibilities towards her, both of which I don't.

I am learning that I am a slow learner with this whole process!