W: I think having separate conferences is like we are not mature enough to put our kids first before ourselves. We don't have to get along, I would prefer we did, but we are 4 girls parents.
I did not reply to the last message. First off I don't feel like anything that she is doing is putting the kids first, I mean her personal mantra she has repeated through this process has been over and over, "I choose to pick myself and what I wanted first, I picked ME!". Secondly, there has not been much done to make sure we could get along, you repeatedly blame me for everything, make snide comments, and bring the OM up all the time. Third, the last parents teachers conference she missed 2 of the 3 and was late to the final one because she was having boudoir photos taken for the OM (with the gift certificate I bought her at a charity auction 6 months before you left me for OM). Lastly we have routinely not gone together to this because one of us stayed home with kids to do supper/homework/baths, ect. The meeting is more of a formality as the teachers keep in good contact with a school app and always let us know how progress is and they reach out anytime there are concerns, which there are none with any of kids, with neither grades or behavior in school.
Is this a decent example of validating and not allowing myself to get drug into an argument?
Not responding was a great decision.
Keep fighting that urge to respond. Keep things as short as possible to get the message across. Use the simplest words.
Here is how I would validate you:
You sound frustrated. Maybe a little angry. Is this how you felt at the end of your convo with the mother?
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
