I cheated, we survived, now my wife's cheating

[JC08]

Text conversation between me and WW today:

Me: School sent slips home for parent teachers conferences. Kids conferences are from 6 to 6:30, does this time work for you?

W: Yes

Me: Okay I will e-mail the teachers and tell them to schedule those times for you and get mine arranged.

W: We can't go at the same time?
W: Are you that dysfunctional?
W: I'm not trying to be a pain but can you really not sit with our girls teachers and hear how they are doing?

Me: I'm just arranging things to work with my schedule. I did let the teachers know those times worked for you.

W: So are we going together or not?

Me: No, I'm making arrangements that work for me.

W: You sound like white trash. Why can't you stand me?

Me: I'm sorry you think I can't stand you, I don't feel that way. Last time you only went to one conference and I was the only one to set up my own conference for the teacher that cancelled. I did not realize it was an issue to you, I'm sorry you feel like me arranging conferences to my schedule was against you.

W: I think having separate conferences is like we are not mature enough to put our kids first before ourselves. We don't have to get along, I would prefer we did, but we are 4 girls parents.


I did not reply to the last message. First off I don't feel like anything that she is doing is putting the kids first, I mean her personal mantra she has repeated through this process has been over and over, "I choose to pick myself and what I wanted first, I picked ME!". Secondly, there has not been much done to make sure we could get along, you repeatedly blame me for everything, make snide comments, and bring the OM up all the time. Third, the last parents teachers conference she missed 2 of the 3 and was late to the final one because she was having boudoir photos taken for the OM (with the gift certificate I bought her at a charity auction 6 months before you left me for OM). Lastly we have routinely not gone together to this because one of us stayed home with kids to do supper/homework/baths, ect. The meeting is more of a formality as the teachers keep in good contact with a school app and always let us know how progress is and they reach out anytime there are concerns, which there are none with any of kids, with neither grades or behavior in school.

Is this a decent example of validating and not allowing myself to get drug into an argument? I feel like she argues and justifies whatever position she takes and expects me to comply otherwise I'm acting like white trash and I'm being dysfunctional.