As for detachment, usually when someone becomes detached they don't talk about it, they just -are-. It comes through in their posts because they will go on and on about their GAL activities and their kids but you almost have to pry info out of them about their spouse. Usually when someone says they are detached it's more like they are trying to convince themselves that they are, that posting it will make it reality. So just be mindful that perhaps you're not as detached as you think just yet.... You may not be detached just yet. At some point I just quit worrying about my M and my XW and just got about the business of living life. After a while I no longer wanted to remain married, and I was the one that ended up pushing the D through. But I was in a place where there was no anger or resentment or anything attached to the decision, it just felt like it was time to move on.
I get the sense that you're not there yet, you're more of the attitude that you want to "punish" W for her poor behavior by depriving her of you and all you have to offer that you feel she doesn't appreciate. If you think this has any ring of truth to it then just give yourself more time. There's no urgency.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
