Trials and tribulations of dating 3

[Ginger1]

Previous Thread:

Trials and tribulations of dating 2

Well,, today is a spa day with my friend. It’s a Korean type day spa and we are having breakfast with mimosas first to get the courage to do the naked baths part. Because they look really nice and relaxing.

I know everyone here has always given the the best support with the best intentions. I do appreciate it.

I have done so much soul searching. I don’t think I didn’t have R’s that didn’t work out because I slept with them too early. Or because I didn’t play the game well enough. It’s because I didn’t believe in my worth. Which lead me to pretzeling myself, not getting out when I wasn’t being valued, and not showing how I should be treated. Fear of losing someone. The fear of losing someone actually didn’t come from the fear of me being alone, believe it or not. It came from a scar my ex left. That if they left me, it was because I wasn’t good enough and I did something “wrong” .
I’ve dated too many guys not worth their weight. I gave and gave and got nothing in return. I didn’t value myself.

Who knows what will happen with E? So far, I like what I see. He’s been texting me throughout the day. He is the initiator. He has graduated to good night sweet dream texts. He fell asleep early last night, and so did I. I woke up this morning to a text he sent me when he woke up on the couch. Telling me good night and to have a great day at the spa. Tells me good morning too. He’s courting me and I like it. No 3rd date set yet. I haven’t given up my schedule to him nor hinted when I’m free. I think he will ask me out. And heck, I’ll let him wine and dine me.

I’m just dating right now. A seemingly good guy. I do know more about his divorce too. Luckily it’s very amicable, he has never ever cheated and I believe he liked being married. Which is a good quality.

I’m not “all in” I’m not head over heels. I am exactly where o should be at this point. We chat a lot and even talk on the phone. We are really getting to know each other. And it’s fun! Which it should be, right?