Ok, first and foremost good luck on preparing for the interview! I hear your hesitancy in that you like your job, but also want/need to grow. I wish you well through the process wherever that leads you. Kick butt the whole way!
Jack: I'm glad he wrote, it seems a bit more closure. Not that I think you two will fully stop talking per se, but it does have a bit more of a neat bow on it now to see more fully what he is going through. That's nice to have. It sounds like he may still have a bit more to say in upcoming weeks as he works through himself, and trusts you to speak with. It sounds like he wants/needs to talk through his own stuff and you may be the only person he has to do so with. But also, that's not your role anymore, so you might need to decide what you want your role to be as friend vs former lover. I hope he doesn't push it too much just so you don't have to repeat yourself numerous times to indicate you're not interested anymore.
I wonder, though, about pointing out that he will be happy later with your decision and see you were right. Isn't that invalidating of his current experience? If he is still pining a bit let him. All you need to do is continue to stand gently firm in what YOU want - not make excuses for what you think HE wants.
I only say this because often women will use this as a way of sidestepping the process of voicing our own wants/needs as valid wants/needs. It doesn't matter if he comes to see that you are right in the long term. It only matters that you've spoken for yourself - and done so in an eloquent, respectful yet gently firm way.
Brook: Wow. I feel for the guy. Honestly, I was a little surprised by the whole story of him and his wife being completely okay with the divorce and just drifting apart. Only because I've never witnessed this in my life, so it isn't something I've experienced. I had a respectful divorce and it still sucked the life out of me (though of course I in no way wanted it - it still was murder on my heart).
I can see how the best thing for him to do is process privately. If you two do connect down the road you do want to be with someone healthy and not hung-up on an ex. This might take him a bit to work through as he remembers every little thing about his own D, and needs to re-analyze it. He's going to be reliving some gross sh!t.
It makes me wonder if he is an introvert? I get the sense in your life you're an extrovert. His need for privacy during this processing time is something I can relate to - with the "hiding" behavior. Some folks need it, some don't. But I could relate because when I go through exceptionally painful periods I tend to retreat and hide for a few weeks at a time and then emerge feeling stronger when I am ready.
Well, that was a fun day for you, wasn't it? As you know I'm in a tiny bit of a slump currently, but everyday I remind myself that ANYTHING could happen - and who knows what's around the corner? It could be amazing, it could be crazy, it could cause some emotional whiplash. Yep. You've just shown that every day truly is a new day and we never know what's coming.
