I think vulnerability is a tricky thing. DB says no, show him the upbeat & carefree side always, but I don’t agree with is completely. The rare occasions when I couldn’t help myself and showed my vulnerability to my H, he sometimes would reciprocate and lower his guard, and tell me that he’s hurting too. These windows to his inner self are extremely small and they’d only last a few seconds. It’s as if he felt the hurt and the wave that’s coming and he decided to shut the window again.
If we didn’t have those brief moments of honesty, we would be these two strange people pretending to be happy and upbeat all the time in front of each other. Making small talk. Smiling. Making jokes. Touching each other even.
I’ve thought about it too - does showing vulnerability and that I still care make me a plan B (I hate that expression btw)? He still has me under his spell? I don’t think so. I’ve told him I’m standing for the M. So obviously I care about us and I still love him. But I’m moving forward with my life regardless. I’m not moping around waiting for him to come back. I’m GALing and he can see that. Showing vulnerability does not make you weak. It keeps you honest with yourself. You can be strong and embrace your vulnerabilities.
