Thanks BenB

[hoosjim]

Question for DBers. How important is MBR now that I am back in the house? Our house is quite small and we don't have that many beds...
If i say I am always sleeping in MBR that will most likely push her away and make her act even worse..

You don't say anything... you just do it. Actions not words. You're a man. Talking looks weak. Actions look strong. Women respect strength (not jerkish or loutish or abusive behavior, but cool, calm, quiet, confident strength) And right now, this woman has zero respect for you and there is zero chance she will feel anything for you or come back to the marriage unless and until that respect starts to be rebuilt. (Read Sandi2's rules and threads again.)

Will she like it if you move back into the MBR. H3LL NO she won't... but she's wayward, and she's sleeping with another man, so how she feels about it doesn't really matter. You make arrangements for your daughter to have a clean, safe space to sleep, you move back into the MBR, and let your W figure out where she wants to park her cheating a$$ for the night. She is wayward and this is the only kind of treatment she will respect and maybe, if you take care of your own side of the street (GAL-ing, 180-ing, etc), that she will eventually respond to.

I REPEAT: She is not the sweet girl you met and married... she is wayward and she is changed. And just in case you are thinking she might come back if you can only end this affair with this current loser, think again. Your W is WAYWARD... a syndrome rooted in disrespect and rebellion, and the affair is just a symptom (albeit a big one). If this affair were to end for whatever reason without her doing the requisite work on herself, for herself, she would likely just move on to OM2, OM3, etc. The lip injections and boob job are not the type of "work" to which I refer, but are HUGE tipoffs to her mindset, here. I, too, had a WW... they primp and workout and get plastic surgery to impress their new man and they can't be "niced" back into the MR with relationship talks and appeasement and "letting them have the house/mbr" and stuff like that. Tough love is required. My own WW did not come back until I finally dropped the hammer and got tough with her. Again, read Sandi2's rules and threads until you have them memorized.