Thanks BenB

[Mumin]

Telling W I will be living here feels like I am throwing my kids out of the house, since they will most likely live with her somewhere else. (I really don't have a problem with how it affects W, atm she can get lost)

Why would the kids move out with her? She cheated and she gets sole custody? I'm not sure why it wouldn't be at least 50/50 but maybe you have legal advice and experience in your area.

So atm I am trying to find a good way to tell her this and to prepare myself for her responses.

Good idea. Having a plan will help you stay calm and detached.

"Till then I will live out of the house but I am moving on so you wont see me much when its your time with the kids."

I think you should be living in your house 100% of the time and the I don't see the point of mentioning that she won't see you much. Just show her instead. So I'm against this sentence hahaha.

I agreed (validated?) and said we didnt have the best platform starting of as teenagers.

Not quite validation. The situations where validation is warranted are the situations where you sense a feeling being conveyed rather than just thoughts.

I talked a bit more about my thoughts lately.

I would advise you to find someone else to talk to. She is telling you, and more importantly she is SHOWING you, that she doesn't see you as this person anymore.

My reading here is that the A is in full action.

Yes, of course it is. It [censored], Mumin.

Was talking to sister in laws boyfriend (for a good reason) and asked if they had heard from W.
Less than an hour later W textd, "If you wanna know where I am just ask me instead! "

She's right. But you should treat her as if she is no longer yours to ask this question anymore.

Go read those DB basics some more my friend...remember that these tough times don't last. This is your time to grow, learn, and become better. Take advantage of it.

First question, on kids moving. It is more of a feeling. I want to protect my kids and one way of doing that is keeping them in the house, not moving to a new apartment. But as you and many more have said. They Will get hurt/affected no matter what. The house isn't what's important. Love and being therenfor them is. Anyway we will get 50/50 custody, unless we AGREE on something else.
Next week I am taking the kids skiing, with my parents.

About being here in the house 100%. I told her I want to and will be living here, but obviously I won't be here all the time.

Question for DBers. How important is MBR now that I am back in the house? Our house is quite small and we don't have that many beds...
If i say I am always sleeping in MBR that will most likely push her away and make her act even worse..


I'm reading basics every day!