So Dawn and BF just so I am aware. In your opinion how long should a woman wait?
oh boy.
Well, will preface that with two statements:
1. I've only slept with two guys and my last real first date was in June 1989 2. I'm a unicorn
that being said, first time I waited 8 months (poor S didn't know what to do with me or himself); second time ... was gob-smacked by love at first sight, waited all of 3 weeks, maybe 5 or 6 dates and I married him.
Now? I got no idea about such things. Feeling my way through this morass.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I think that’s a very personal choice. I don’t think there is a magic number. For me, I have to be comfortable with someone and I have to know that I’m the only one because I’m not interested in sleeping with someone who is sleeping with 3 or 4 or however many others. For me, it is usually at least 5 dates and lots of texts and phone conversations in the interim. I’m just not a casual sex person. Not that there is anything wrong with that, mind you...just isn’t what I’m into. Now,, to your point, if 2 consenting adults are feeling it, then they should act on it whether it is date 1, 10, or 100. That’s their business. My comments were not based on the fact that I didn’t think G should sleep with dude on 2nd date if she was ready, but more to the point that she was saying one thing and doing something else. I do think, in general, when sex is involved, feelings are mixed up in it for women. Now I am sure some women will say oh no, I can do no strings sex, but in general, I don’t think that’s a natural setting for women. Of course there are exceptions to that.
what she said.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Of course men aren’t “banished” for trying, but as HaWho said, there are plenty of ways to show attraction without being handsy. This is where the whole being an adult thing comes into play and both people have to honestly communicate. If y’all both feel it on date 1, do it. If one of you doesn’t feel it, the onus is on that person to be honest.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Hey, whatever floats anyone’s boat. Everyone is an adult there. This is a no judgement zone.
I didn’t sleep with anyone. I am not “all in”. I’m just doing the dating thing and trying to keep it generally uncomplicated. That’s what I am absolutely comfortable and confident at this point in time. I feel good, I feel in control, I feel like o don’t have to jump through hoops to get a guy to like me. I see him as a pretty cool guy I would like to get to know better. Nice and simple
I’m going to wait as long as I feel is right for me. And if he decides that o am not relationship worthy because I had sex with him on the 3rd 4th, or 5th date, he simply wasn’t the guy for me.
And as an aside.... I had to get let go of the “number” stigma. I had only slept with my ex. But I have been single in my prime, in my adult life, for 12 years. Average 1-2 partners per year, the number adds up. And for a single, unattached woman for so many of her adult years. That really isn’t a lot.
I wanted one partner for the rest of my life. But it didn’t happen that way. And guess what. My first was the one who gave me the STD. My exH.
Last edited by job; 02/06/2001:25 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
