VICTORIOUS IV

[AnotherStander]

Oz, this really breaks my heart to read. I am so sorry. There are just a few threads here that I take special interest in and always read when updates pop up and yours is one of them. You've grown and become so much stronger in your time here and I've enjoyed being on the journey with you. I just buried my father last Friday so I'm once again facing the reality that the clock is ticking for all of us. He was found on his bathroom floor, apparently he had a heart attack. And just like that he was gone. I'm not sure whether it's better to go suddenly or with some warning so you can prepare yourself, but unfortunately that's thrust upon us and not a choice we get to make. I hope you're able to do some things that you really love with the time you have left.

then I needed to talk to her about food for everybody tomorrow and she wouldnt answer the phone. I called her like 4 times and when she did answer I basically let her have it for not answering and kept asking her why she wouldnt answer.

Just try to keep in mind that this is a big shock to her too. It doesn't seem fair that you should have to support her when it's you going through this, but you do. She may have just needed a little space to process it all.

To be honest I just want to be with my wife again. I want to feel what it feels like to lay with my wife as a man while my body still functions. I want to feel like a man while I still can. I want my wife to hold me and me to hold her and for a moment I dont have cancer. I want to go to work (I still am working) and come home and kiss my wife and hold my son and we go to bed and have the most passionate sex in the world. Because according to the doc, I dont have long of that left.

Well this isn't DB'ing but DB'ing is a long process and your time is short. My opinion is you should sit down with her and tell her the above. If she has any love for you at all then maybe she can try to meet you halfway. And if she doesn't, well chalk it up to "nothing ventured nothing gained".

according to the doc. I dont have time to start a new relationship. maybe but its not likely.

What you have left is your life Oz, so you do what you want to do. Talk to your W, if she's not receptive then go out and find someone else.

I truly believe that our souls transcend the human body. There is something to each and every one of us that defies the definition of flesh and blood and evolution. A unique spark that's been embedded in these finite bodies for a time. The body passes and that spark moves on to something else. Another plane of existence, or maybe to be reborn again here, or to the place religions call Heaven. Your body may die but you won't Oz. This chapter will close but there's more to be written in your novel.