R2C has lots of great advice there. I think too that doing some fun new things together would do your R a power of good. And a lot more frequently! I recently took up playing pool, I am terrible but really enjoy doing it and the kids like beating me. I laugh a lot when we play pool. Even H laughs if we play pool together with the kids, and he has barely laughed since BD. Try something new and something which you can do together, even better if you have to do it as a team (like an escape room or something). You guys desperately need to warm things up and inject some playfulness into your M, otherwise it's just everyday drudgery and chores and childcare and you both feel critical and like your needs aren't being met. Focus on the positives
