Well I responded to her text and let her know I sent the paperwork via email. She then asked if I am just avoiding seeing her now and didn’t say anything about the paperwork. How would you guys respond to that? I don’t want to see her, and I don’t really see any reason why it’s necessary.
Ignore it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Just read your story, and it seems like a carbon copy of my own. NGS is an absolute killer, and like you, I didn't recognize it until it was too late. What's doubly frustrating (and I suspect this is the case with you as well) is that it's the same story in EVERY serious relationship I've been in.
If you haven't read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover, I strongly, strongly recommend it. It sounds like you already have a good understanding of how this is impacting your relationships, but I've found the book also helps quite a bit in terms of addressing it and moving forward.
If you haven't read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover, I strongly, strongly recommend it. It sounds like you already have a good understanding of how this is impacting your relationships, but I've found the book also helps quite a bit in terms of addressing it and moving forward.
Do you still want to save your M? The last few posts have me feeling that you've given up. If you still want to make things work, you shouldn't be pushing the paperwork for D on her. She should be doing all the work for that, not you...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
You've said, "I am done standing for this marriage." In that case, there's no need to respond anymore.
My ex has been texting me every few days since she gave up on us 7 weeks ago and I stopped trying solo. The first 3 weeks I only offered thumbs-up emojis to proposed logistics and simple counter-offers e.g. "Jan-8 1-3pm or Jan-9 10am-12pm". Since then I've been completely radio silent even to "ILU" messages. I suspect they, along with any lingering feelings for me, will die away soon enough.
This is kind of weird, but do any of you ever hope your WW wants to reconcile just so you can tell her no?
Not now, but when I was much more attached, definitely! That fantasy puts you in control instead of her calling most shots, and allows you to vent your anger by hurting her in a socially acceptable way. Once you detach from your ex, those fantasies tend to disappear. I control my life and don’t want to hurt my ex or anyone else even in fantasy.
I have given up unfortunately. I guess I just don’t have the patience for this, and she has done so much that I don’t see her ever coming back to the marriage. Maybe way down the road she will have regret, but I can’t wait around. At this point I feel like I would not be a good husband to her because I just have no respect anymore.
And Cwarrior, it’s funny how fast things change, but I already just don’t care, I hope she doesn’t have regret so she can be happy, but I think she has some pretty big issues to work out with herself.
I will say I happened to meet someone and get a date for valentines weekend, I’m sure that is helping with my attitude. It just sort of happened, so I’m going with it!
So you are a married man and you have a date for V's day. Sounds like you have a lot of work to do on yourself too.
Yeah this concerns me too. js, a lot of LBSs fall into the trap of finding someone new and then deciding they are done. That is cart in front of horse. Are you REALLY ready? If not, this new R has no change of success. You have to earn your way out of your marriage. Maybe you have, but I've followed your sitch js and I don't think you have.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
