I miss his smell. I miss him running up on me when I'm not paying attention and smacking my butt. I miss our Saturday mornings in bed. I miss falling asleep on his chest when my insomnia won't let me fall back asleep. I miss the way he used to look at me. The one compliment the one time is the only nice thing he's said to me about me in months. All of this is why I'm starting to feel a little desperate.
I feel you. I got in bed last night and I could smell H (He probably was sleeping here when we were out of town). It made me really miss him. I actually texted him and said I miss him. Of course, no text back. My first late-night-couldn’t-stop-myself text and probably my last. When I look at him, I miss his old aura. Now there’s this empty shell around him. Even when he’s being friendly, loving....it’s just not the same anymore.
But sweet memories aside, I’m glad that he’s removed himself from this family for now and has taken that darkness with him. The anger, the frustration, the irritability, the yelling, just whole bunch of negativity in general....I would not want to take those back for brief moments of love.
