Oh, and I also wanted to encourage you to look into some consultations with other ICs. I think it's important you get what you need! I've also found some seem to be more open to feedback than others.
Have you tried telling your IC that she isn't really helping you right now? That what you need from her at this moment is a bit more understanding of where you are and helping you there rather than pushing you in a direction you aren't ready for? Maybe that will help.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
