I could have written so much of this word for word myself! In fact, as you probably saw in my thread, I echoed some of your feelings there too. With H still in a more normal, friendly phase, I'm doubting myself more. I'm eight months into this but it honestly feels like the time has flown by. I'm not sure why... because I still appreciate every day he's in my life (well, most days!) and I'm not ready for that to change? Because I can see how much progress I've made in myself? That's part of it. I feel like a different person than before, in a good way. But this doesn't mean I'm not still on the rollercoaster some days.
Like you, I realize he had/has to tell himself what he needs to to justify his behavior, that where he's at right now, he can only see our M through a negative lens, and that clouds out all the good that was there. But some days my mind is more doubt and insecurity, and it's hard to see through it. This is just part of the process for us, too, I guess—being able acknowledge our spouse's feelings without taking all the responsibility/blame for how they feel. Trusting ourselves too.
Originally Posted by Kindly
I feel I’m craving a conversation, not to guide or control him or the situation but to get some truth bombs off of my chest.
Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to deliver some truth bombs. It's hard for me to accept there's no way he could fully empathize with me or see beyond his own point of view right now.
Well. It's a new day. A new week. How are you today?
It's hard for me to accept there's no way he could fully empathize with me or see beyond his own point of view right now.
