WW dropped S bomb

[SteveLW]

I just read something on another thread about WW being lazy to file for divorce and do all the paperwork. Is this true?

quote:

"Finally, if you do not want divorce, then my suggestion is to not lift a finger to help with the D. WWs are notoriously lazy about ending their M. Likely she won't file, but she will, as you suggest, continue to ask for a D when she interacts with you. Make her do the work. Make her file. Make her do the heavy lifting. In most states, when kids are involved, D is not a simple thing. WWs don't want to deal with it. Her tactic likely will be to continue to do what she is doing hoping you will finally tire of everything and file. Note, I said if you don't want D then don't do anything. If that ever changes, obviously it is well within your rights to file."


My WW doesn't even open her mail if it looks business like. She doesn't pay bills - I do all this. I do all the finances.

I'm not looking to file D just yet - I want to DB and see if I can R. She mentioned it once briefly in a fit of anger.

If she does file first...should I drag it out and play for time and hope to get her to reconsider? Time is money they say. Does the person filing first have an advantage? I'm just considering my options.

Drh, one of the best things I did in my sitch was to consult with an attorney. Information is power. Most D attorneys do a free consultation. Schedule one and get the information you need on all of this.

As others have said, despite what some attorneys will tell you, there is no advantage to being the one to file. Attorneys will tell you this to get you to pay them. My main point in the quote you quoted was to let you know that most WWs want you to do all the work. Unless you are ready to D I advise not lifting a finger (including filing). Don't drag it out, but don't help it along either.

Example:

WW emails: "I need, X, Y, and Z documents for the divorce."
Drh2001 emails back: "Okay, I understand you need those documents, however I am extremely busy and unable to locate those documents for you. They should be in our files in the home office, feel free to take whatever documents you may need."

Note, you didn't drag anything out. But you didn't lift a finger to find the documents yourself. And the best part? You are making her do all of the work!