I don't view this as anger or bitterness, necessarily. I just made a choice that I'm not going to let him think I'm ok with him just waltzing into my kids lives after what he did to destroy it. I don't dwell on it anymore. I've come to accept the fact that he's going to be around for the foreseeable future, but that doesn't mean I need to allow them to be around him when they are with me. Like I said, if it was ANYONE else, I'd be more accepting of them engaging with the kids on my time. I've drawn a line in the sand and I'm not crossing it at this point in time.
For any given situation, I don't know what's best. But, for myself, I didn't want my sons to perceive me to be a weak milquetoast that would allow the OM to walk all over me. I made it clear to the OM, very publicly, that I wouldn't tolerate the OM being around my sons. The OM understood that it was in his best interest to never touch my sons in any way.
Apparently the OM is long gone; I never see him at any of his favorite hangouts around town. (Believe me, I've gone looking.) But again, it was important to me that my sons understand that I wasn't going to tolerate that dirtbag.
