And we keep moving on.

[Irish M]

I think that the flags could have gone either way. Our spouses could have been healed by devoting themselves to the marriage rather than destroying themselves and all the rest of us by destroying the marriage. I do think marriage offers us an amazing opportunity to become our highest selves because of the unconditional love it teaches. But in our cases, we had to cut that journey short when our spouses cut it short.

Hi Gerda, I 200% agree with that statement. They could have put all the energy they used detroying lives and put it all into something worth building. Marriage is sacred to me and I am not a guy that just gives up. In this case I had no choice.

Hi Ownit.
Not sure its a sign of courage her reaching out. I am thinking more it's an attempt to temp check and see if I am still cold to her. I am neither cold nor warm. I am indifferent. If she showed any remorse at all I might have become less indifferent to her a little.
Also she is nowhere ready to face the girls. They are teenagers still 17-19. Yes young adults but teens just the same. To be challenged by the girls questions and possible attitude . She would have to be in a better place to handle it. Not in avoindance and blame.


Hi Bttrfly ((hugs))


So to update you all. XW messaged me today.

Asking : Hi Irish , did the girls see my email?

I was honest and said yes they did. Did you get a reply?

No Irish. nothing from them. You sure they read it?

Yes, they read it. Maybe they are not ready to answer just yet.

ok then Irish , I guess I will give up too. I will respect their choices as well and just stop trying.

XW? You misunderstood my reply. Where did I say that they are giving up? You have just started to try and you are are ready to give up all ready. XW, do what you want, unless your attempt was only to make you feel good about yourself. Now you are saying you will give up because the girls are not reacting just yet. If anyone asks you about your girls you can tell them you tried but the girls are not wanting anything from you.

I am sure you will figure it out one day. I pray you will. Until then take care of yourself.

she of course won't reply to that. So i think for a while she will be quiet. After all mothers day is around the corner, that can't be fun for her.


So Bttrfly to answer your questions. My parents are doing well. They are a bit stubborn because in my house hunting |I was thinking of having them move as well. I saw a few houses that have side apatments , intergeneration houses where my parents could move into. They keep telling me it will be too much trouble for me. I say it will give me peace of mind having them close. I am looking to buy about 45mins out. Not a far distance but still far enough. My mom is set in her ways. I need to respect that

so house hunting is still going on. I saw a few. had inspections done to 2 of them and pulled out after the report. The type of home I am looking for is an older home. Lots of wood. On a minimum 1/2 acre lot. I'll find it i know. just need to be patient.

D17 is graduating this summer. So we will soon go dress shopping. I did it with D19 when she graduated. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Also she has rescheduled her driving exam as she didnt feel ready to drive in the snow. Lots of exciting things for her this year. Her anxiety is under control and health is back to normal. So I am crossing my fingers.

D19 is in her last session of jr college then off to university. We are moving to an area that has better access to downtown via a train. Much better commute than the traffic she drives in now.

have good week everyone.
Irish