w. Are you finding it harder to be detached (besides for specific comments like about your body/looks) when his behavior is so positive in these other ways?
Good behavior is what I struggle to detach from. End stop. I was with a pill popping, metally ill, alcoholic for years, and had a step father with the dark triad. Bad behavior. A$$holes. Garbage humans. Pure evil. I can look that in the face and smile. What is happening in my life right now as long has he's consistent I can ride the wave. But burst of new behavior or things that were deeply who he used to be then my walls come tumbling down. I won't let him see that. I'd rather vomit or die then let him see me vulnerable or affected in any way. But inside I'm in turmoil.
The girls brought up to me this weekend how different he's been behaving lately. Nov-Jan he spent almost no time with either girl especially not 1 on 1 except when he BD'd them with my permission. Last night all 4 of us had nachos and watched the game. He laid on my step daughter. Was on his phone working on his running play lists as the marathon is only 2 months out so his runs are getting longer and longer. Humming to himself as he finds or remembers songs he likes. The phone was in full view of us all of us because of how he was laying. Not one text exchange between him and OW. Now I'm sure after we all wandered off to the other side of the house for bed they were talking, but 2 months ago he would've been in the MBR avoiding all 3 of us talking to her non-stop. Wouldn't have eaten with us or maybe at all. Watching him be in our lives exactly the way he used to be, puts me in a place where I just want to beg him to quit his sh1t already and let's start moving on. But I sit quietly in his chair in the corner and smile at my phone texting my bff. But trust I'm climbing out of my skin.
