Ok this is probably going to sound patronizing but do you have a physical outlet? I mean I really enjoy my rage cleaning when I'm struggling, but that coupled with running and my dance class helps me sleep like a baby. I lose no sleep over him at all any more. I'm so much more emotionally stable when I'm exhausting my body and getting a full night of sleep. I've been following you along for a while and while he's just behaving terribly, I wonder where you're at that you're still taking this like it's a personal attack on you. I know at this point you've read over and over and over he's terrible behavior has nothing to do with you. It's all about him. He's being selfish as h3ll, so guess what now's the time for you to be selfish.
How much of your GAL is self care? How much of it is making yourself feel pretty, and mentally or spiritually nourished/stimulated, and pampered? Here's my deal. I buy myself flowers EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY. I do face masks 2 or 3 times a week usually one with each girl and then one night just for my not teenage skin. I take a full on candle lit bubble bath every other week. I try every week but I usually don't have the time. I've been getting my nails done. I started actually scheduling hair appointments for 6-8 weeks out. Something I totally stopped doing when I was depressed well before BD. I read all the time now. Which I stopped doing for a really long time, well before BD well before depression. I got my happy butt back in the kitchen. I don't cook every night now so when I do I make it good. Granted these are all things that make me happy and your self care might look different than mine.
GALing means a lot of things. And I'm wondering how much time you're taking to make yourself just feel good. Not to prove to him you're nonchalant about his gallivanting. Not to make him wonder where you're at or what you're doing. How much time are you spending each week just loving the h3ll out of yourself since he isn't?
