HesAble, I have asked/told my H to leave a couple of times in the last month. Both times were a reaction to something he had done to betray me. The response I got was a sulky acknowledgement that he would find somewhere . But he hasn’t found anywhere, he’s not actively looking (he’s viewed one place and dismissed it as unsuitable). My point is that he doesn’t want to go, and i don’t want him to go. He now knows that I’m not following through on my requests for him to leave - what message does that give him? As others have said, only say it when you know you mean it. I’m not at that place right now. I’m close, but i need to work on myself more before I make that decision. I know you want to shock him so that he will see sense, but everything I read here tells me it doesn’t work like that.
You make a good point that I should be sure I am sure before asking H to leave. I think I am just growing more and more frustrated and impatient by the day. I do need to do some more work on myself before I ask him to go, particularly in terms of finances. It is just that the emotional toll this is taking on me seems like too much to bear sometimes. I am trying to detach, 180, GAL and everything, but inside I am an emotional hot mess.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
